What do you write about, when you have nothing to say?
Do you reiterate the details of the day,
or do you let your mind wander, in the realm of play?
I look at this conflict as the silliest sort of a problem,
yet extremely complex, an "I just don't know the answer, yet."
To come up with the solution,
would be the best sort of a feeling,
to know that the problem, not mine,
has all sorts of fixings,
simply get in your place
or think of these things
or hang out with this person
or practice such and such religion.
I keep coming back to production
feeling only somewhat successful.
Enjoying creation, thriving and daring,
not knowing what lies ahead,
but refusing to live life as if I were dying.
So different from then, still me,
if He hadn't saved me,
where would I be?
Dreadfully aware of how far I have come, but not totally understanding where I'm going.
These are the moments I'm capturing, the in between ones,
the I'm not quite me, but who else would I be,
the one who seeks solitude, but only for the time being.
Whose comfort is drawn from believing,
just a girl who needs profound healing,
not a friend or a soul could give me more
than the hope and His joy,
yet my life is expanding by their gentle beings,
a love more pure than I have ever known,
who gives me strength until called home.
ever changing and learning as is the process of life,
needing correction and guidance
from those in such places.
God if I could ask just one thing,
do you believe in me the way I see that you do?
Do you shudder when I doubt myself,
do you cheer when I try
do you cry when I do or long to brush my check when I can hardly breathe?
I believe in you and love you
I seek you, I will find you.
You give me all the strength I need,
Lord, please help me to see that.

I prayed for a soul the other day,
the way I thought you would have me,
up to this point that is,
I left in a stupor,
the only word that would say it.
I couldn't see my right from my left,
I can hardly define what I felt,
dreaming of life and of healing
anticipating your loving mercy,
A feeling of hope so deep,
I think of it and smile,
Not of me, but of you
you are the reason for the things that I do.
Give up that drink and do this now
I will because I know
all things work together for my good.
I love you Lord
and I'm holding on tight.