Why is it that your noise drives me to the edge of a cliff?
That the only noise I long to hear is the birds calling to each other in the air?
Why is it that enough is really never enough?
That what I have or have been given leaves me longing for I don't know what?
Why is it at times that I crave solitude?
That one second I find joy and the next finds me in the most opposite mood?
I have never been in the situation where I tried to identify this uncomfortable uniformity
because what I have to compare it to is nothing but ordinary.
One fact in me I keep returning to is that this modern life is quite boring.
I hate the way we wear our clothes, premeditated, stressed over and painfully gained.
The weight of what I'm doing never allows me to commit.
Do I want to wear what you do and have each hair most perfectly aligned?
At times.
Do I stop for a minute and try to realize that what I tell myself every day is the most complicated of lies?
I do.
I sabotage my happiness because I feel I don't deserve it
I look for you for guidance as if I've never heard it
In reality, I'm waiting for some kind of change.
Either one in me that makes me strong enough to be who I want to be
or a change in the world that finally makes me.
I'm sick of all the things I do not know
and all the things behind me
Maybe it would be better to look ahead now
and make the changes that I would like to see
I'm scared of what they might bring though
and fear is unusual for me.
Since I was a little girl I went anywhere alone
never fearing what lay in wait for me
never waiting to examine the possibilities
I did it naively, or do you call it bravery?
