Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
My mission for the day: be grateful. Sounds easy, right? It better be! I have an amazing family and a loving husband. I have a beautiful job babysitting such a cute little girl. I have two cute doggies who are going to need a walk. Oh, and that's right, I have an adorable, intelligent baby on the way :) Whose, by the way, heartbeat Greg and I listened to yesterday until I started cracking up and ruined it all :P I have an incredible best friend who wasn't satisfied with me waiting until 8 pm to tell her whether or not the doctor revealed the baby's gender or not (she didn't). But yeah, overall, life is awesome and I'm happy to be practicing thankfulness, even as a 25 year old who should have it down pat. :) Ah well... Have a good day everybody!
Friday, March 22, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
I am not the Redwood.
I wish it were simple. Or, it could be hard, but then I wish it would be methodical. It is an easy thing to do to follow a formula. All you have to do is complete steps A through E in order to reach your solution, right? How much better are your odds, or how much does your success rate increase if the solution is already known? For example, if we knew to do this in every situation and then to do that in those types of situations and we knew that by behaving thus we would reach Heaven!? Wouldn't that be the absolute best thing in the world? To go just one step further and to prove how fail safe that system would be, I must also include that if, by some terrible misfortune, once someone misjudged a situation and acted in Form A rather than in Form B and realized that they had handled the situation inappropriately, they would then change the behavior to the more appropriate choice in order to gain success in the next similar situation they were in thereby guaranteeing that the end result would still, ultimately, be going to Heaven!
Now, why aren't we programmed this way? Why don't we behave in expected patterns and follow predestined roles? I suppose it's because that would be boring. While some explain this phenomena as "free-will," I believe that humans change as seasons change. Unless you handle an incident completely obscurely, like laughing when someone else cries, you probably don't have anything mechanically wrong with you. However, if you act contrary to what society expects of you, say accepting a job offer with no benefits but because you love it in place of taking a job that's offering complete security in an offensive, cruel environment you might have made a choice (thus supporting the argument for free-will), but more importantly, would you have made that decision five years later? Once you had fallen in love and had some sort of spiritual awakening, calling you to transform even the darkest holes of the Earth? Probably not. Any and every decision we make is based on the perfect timing of our existence. And if it isn't then perhaps you stay in a continual season of obedience to the first plan you ever laid. Or perhaps your life is sturdy, you were meant to weather the storm like a Redwood Tree. Never ceasing to exist due to the changes in your environment, but adapting and finding anyway you can to survive.
I am not the Redwood. Plain and simple. I'm more like the bird who perches in it's canopy and waits for the right time to move on to the next branch, the next forest, the next season. But what happens when that bird wants to land? When that bird decides that now is the time to settle down, to become more like the tree than the bird? Is it impossible? Is it unhealthy, has something taken a hold of the bird that means to destroy it? There are those parasitical relationships in nature that can either harm one organism, or become mutually beneficial. I don't want to believe I am a bird with some parasite that threatens my existence. So, what am I then and how can I explain this to myself so that I have some peace of mind? It says in the Bible that there is nothing better for a man than to live and be happy. The author of Ecclesiastes wrote that he had seen men live both happily and miserably and in the end, both perish so he urges us to be happy. Why be miserable your entire life if in the end we all come to the same conclusion?
Theoretically, this argument seems right to me. Even now, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I'll just be happy. No big deal." But, to clarify I have never thought, "I'm just going to be miserable." Never. Not once did I think that being miserable sounded better than being happy. However, I definitely have made decisions that I didn't necessarily think would have happy conclusions because...because why? Because we all do it? Because I was afraid of the consequences if I didn't do something I was "suppose" to do? Because I was too weak to make the better decision because it was hard in the moment, even though I knew the end result would be better? The result of not following that small piece of advice has been hugely detrimental in my life, but also excessively instrumental. At times, I have gone against my gut reaction because after assessing the situation I realized that what I wanted intrinsically was not going to make me happy. That is the way I got over a lot of "addictions." I put addictions in quotes because what I have called addictions before, I now feel more comfortable referring to as habits. We are all creatures of habit, from the little white mice in the labs to the overgrown humans we've become. We are all fed on the same lies and corruption of corporations and government experiments. It's okay. Until it's not. But that's probably best for another time and place and maybe a different author.
The point is, I'm wondering where my life is going to end up. I'm realizing some things must change and I'm wondering how to do that. I'm also realizing that we all know. In some way or another and if you don't yet, you will reach a point where you want to stop hearing from everyone else about what they do that works and you'll want to start hearing what God wants you to do to make your life work. Is it going to school and making a difference because then other kids will want to start spreading some positivity too? Is it going to work and being honest because so few people are and you know it will really stand out? Is it staying home and raising your children because God has called you to put all the love in your heart and all of you amazing qualities that only other house wives (or husbands!) could ever understand to use? Whatever it is, don't be afraid to take some time and really think about what it is you want to do because in the end that's all any of us are doing and you'll only ever be the best at doing whatever it is you were really meant to do! And besides, if you're going to be the bird that wants to settle down and be like a tree, that doesn't mean you want to become a tree. It means you appreciate the tree for it's sturdiness and then carry on being the bird that lives peacefully in that same tree and gets to see the environment come full circle in the way that all environments do. Either way, it's bound to be a beautiful thing really. As long as your living to be happy ;)
I hope this helps :) I've still got some intense, but happy, thinking to do of my own!
Love lots,
Jenn
Now, why aren't we programmed this way? Why don't we behave in expected patterns and follow predestined roles? I suppose it's because that would be boring. While some explain this phenomena as "free-will," I believe that humans change as seasons change. Unless you handle an incident completely obscurely, like laughing when someone else cries, you probably don't have anything mechanically wrong with you. However, if you act contrary to what society expects of you, say accepting a job offer with no benefits but because you love it in place of taking a job that's offering complete security in an offensive, cruel environment you might have made a choice (thus supporting the argument for free-will), but more importantly, would you have made that decision five years later? Once you had fallen in love and had some sort of spiritual awakening, calling you to transform even the darkest holes of the Earth? Probably not. Any and every decision we make is based on the perfect timing of our existence. And if it isn't then perhaps you stay in a continual season of obedience to the first plan you ever laid. Or perhaps your life is sturdy, you were meant to weather the storm like a Redwood Tree. Never ceasing to exist due to the changes in your environment, but adapting and finding anyway you can to survive.
I am not the Redwood. Plain and simple. I'm more like the bird who perches in it's canopy and waits for the right time to move on to the next branch, the next forest, the next season. But what happens when that bird wants to land? When that bird decides that now is the time to settle down, to become more like the tree than the bird? Is it impossible? Is it unhealthy, has something taken a hold of the bird that means to destroy it? There are those parasitical relationships in nature that can either harm one organism, or become mutually beneficial. I don't want to believe I am a bird with some parasite that threatens my existence. So, what am I then and how can I explain this to myself so that I have some peace of mind? It says in the Bible that there is nothing better for a man than to live and be happy. The author of Ecclesiastes wrote that he had seen men live both happily and miserably and in the end, both perish so he urges us to be happy. Why be miserable your entire life if in the end we all come to the same conclusion?
Theoretically, this argument seems right to me. Even now, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I'll just be happy. No big deal." But, to clarify I have never thought, "I'm just going to be miserable." Never. Not once did I think that being miserable sounded better than being happy. However, I definitely have made decisions that I didn't necessarily think would have happy conclusions because...because why? Because we all do it? Because I was afraid of the consequences if I didn't do something I was "suppose" to do? Because I was too weak to make the better decision because it was hard in the moment, even though I knew the end result would be better? The result of not following that small piece of advice has been hugely detrimental in my life, but also excessively instrumental. At times, I have gone against my gut reaction because after assessing the situation I realized that what I wanted intrinsically was not going to make me happy. That is the way I got over a lot of "addictions." I put addictions in quotes because what I have called addictions before, I now feel more comfortable referring to as habits. We are all creatures of habit, from the little white mice in the labs to the overgrown humans we've become. We are all fed on the same lies and corruption of corporations and government experiments. It's okay. Until it's not. But that's probably best for another time and place and maybe a different author.
The point is, I'm wondering where my life is going to end up. I'm realizing some things must change and I'm wondering how to do that. I'm also realizing that we all know. In some way or another and if you don't yet, you will reach a point where you want to stop hearing from everyone else about what they do that works and you'll want to start hearing what God wants you to do to make your life work. Is it going to school and making a difference because then other kids will want to start spreading some positivity too? Is it going to work and being honest because so few people are and you know it will really stand out? Is it staying home and raising your children because God has called you to put all the love in your heart and all of you amazing qualities that only other house wives (or husbands!) could ever understand to use? Whatever it is, don't be afraid to take some time and really think about what it is you want to do because in the end that's all any of us are doing and you'll only ever be the best at doing whatever it is you were really meant to do! And besides, if you're going to be the bird that wants to settle down and be like a tree, that doesn't mean you want to become a tree. It means you appreciate the tree for it's sturdiness and then carry on being the bird that lives peacefully in that same tree and gets to see the environment come full circle in the way that all environments do. Either way, it's bound to be a beautiful thing really. As long as your living to be happy ;)
I hope this helps :) I've still got some intense, but happy, thinking to do of my own!
Love lots,
Jenn
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