If you're like me..

If you're like me than you have been bordering on depression for the last two years. It isn't clinical depression and I probably don't need to be on twenty-four hour supervision. I call my symptoms as I see them: first, it seems I sometimes have a bad case of ungreatfulness. Sure, that meal was great and a majority of people around the world are starving to death or living on TWO (really picture this) TWO food staples all year long (meaning, rice and fish, breakfast, lunch and dinner). Yet, my meal had "Too many preservatives!" And then there is the self-loathing stage. This one is multi-layered. See, we live in a two-dimensional world. One that infiltrates us with images of beautiful people and fashion and money, yet my neighbors wear sizes 18s and 20s and are "hard-working Americans." We are taught to be slim and quick-witted, not caring and humble. Which leads me to the next problem, are we all really okay with the inhumane treatment of cows, chickens and pigs that is happening on farms and in coops around the United States. Granted, I have never been to one of these institutions, but I either believe them or I start suspecting that a conspiracy theory was invented to create unrest among the citizens in hopes of finally causing a revolution to thwart the corrupt capitalist society in which we live.
I'm not unusual in most other things, that's why I'm asking, am I alone? If not, what am I supposed to do in order to live with myself better? I see all the cars going down the freeway and part of me wants one. Part of me says, "Hey! I want the top down in my own jeep!" And then another part of myself repels in sadness? Anger? First of all, I can't afford any car I want thanks to my pile of student loans that has so far gotten me no where in life, but I also have been warned for years about the effects of pollution. Do I really need to feel bad about not being able to avoid public warnings? I look around and see "everyone else driving," but I'm not one for social norms. I just don't understand how to live in this grey world. So little things are black and white, and I should probably be thankful that they aren't... I don't always want my water expenditure calculated because sometimes I do let my showers flow on and on and I have, lately, been using a fair amount of electricity, I'm just wondering if I am the only who is sick from over-looking the messages of animal cruelty, the lack of compassion for LIVING creatures, for convenience's sake and maximum financial output? I'm looking for a solution, much like the author of Omnivore's Dilemma was. He went around hunting a boar and picking minerals off of deposit sites in the San Francisco Bay, all to produce his own meal. Although that would certainly put my mind at ease as far as disregarding a superficial lifestyle, I need a job and I wouldn't be able to sustain those eating habits. Nor, do I want to. Sometimes I want to go to the local restaurant and get an "authentic" burrito. I also want to know that the chicken I'm eating wasn't tortured for it's short, miserable existence.

All in all, I enjoyed the book. Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan.