Distracting myself from myself... by myself.

Here's my review on 1984,

The first part was great. It was mysterious and poignant, but disgusting enough to be relatable. I felt some affinity to the main character for his separateness, the conspiracy, his desire to write. I was even enticed by Orwell's disturbing bedroom scene with the ancient prole, slut woman. "The worst part was, I did it anyways." Whoa, caught me off guard and I liked it. So, I kept reading. Then came Part 2. The love affair, which besides being completely unbelievable, is also boring. Not so much their antics, but the fact that at this juncture in the book, Orwell takes the liberty of becoming abundantly verbose, thereby inducing a chronic boredom in me that almost overwhelmed my desire to finish the novel, until, thankfully, Part 3! I loved the meeting with O'Brien. It was so Batman, initially. Then it turned weird with the betrayals and burn outs. I get what Orwell was doing, but for all the hype, I'd say I was let down. What make-believe brotherhood would go through so much time of creating that painfully long handbook/guide thing only to reveal that it was all a hoax at the end? Did reading the book prove his commitment to the brotherhood even more than answering "Yes" to pouring acid on children's faces if required to do so (disturbing!)?
What did the ending mean though? So, he and his lover split because they sold each other out eventually and couldn't face it. They were devoid of feeling, so what did it matter being together anymore? It would only cause more pain and confusion, had they been capable of those emotions anymore. But he fell in love with Big Brother after all? Why? How? After all of the resistance his hopes had been crushed and utterly destroyed, the once small voice in his head turned out to be a lie, just like everything else he had ever known. I guess I would give up hope too at that point. But which side am I on? Are we on?
There are numerous topics we could assign Orwell's logic to; love, for one, country, obviously. Politics and relationships, of course those are the two I get stuck on. I suppose if I can overlook all of the blatant usages of rhetorical devices, the ideas behind 1984 make it a "great" book. It gets ten points for originality anyway.

I started reading another book. It is called Point Clear. I can't put it down, I even brought it to work and read it on my lunch break. Suffering writer weathers a hurricane, all good until... the romance is as dry and boring as the most insufferable date. I'm already 170 pages in and they have slept with each other twice, exchanged at maximum 15 or so words and now he has left with an "I'll call you." Slightly on the depressing side and I'm hoping this book has a redeeming quality, approaching quickly.

Goodnight world. I can't say this was the best ending to the day, but my day certainly wasn't bad ;) Thank you God for everything you've given me, including the capability of seeing as clearly as one can during the eye of a storm. Grant me that vision Lord and the strength to stop looking back. The strength to look forward and to see what it is that will lead me closest to you. Amen.