What keeps us down? Thinking negatively. Is it beneficial to think you can't or will you succeed far more when you think that you can?
I'm not sure what I'm writing right now, I'm tightly coiled and trying to relax. It has been a day full of family, full of shopping, full of good things, but also short on personal time or space. I love my family and this need for time away has nothing to do with my feelings changing towards my husband, or towards my sister, or my step-dad or my mom. See, I used to think that it did. I used to be haunted by these feelings, but I'm starting to realize that perhaps we all get them and what matters is what we do in moments like these. I need to write, I need to run, I'm fighting off anxiety. I need more to my life, I, I, I. Am I really so selfish? God, I wish you would lead me. What is it you would have me to do? Why can't I feel whole and complete in every moment?...
Today was good. We went to the movies, saw The Hobbit. I've literally been waiting for more than a year to see that film. And it was awesome!
It got me thinking about the connections between that world and the biblical world. Dragons and giants, heros and courage. Hidden treasures and how they eat at your heart. Relationships and hope. Hope for a happy ending when all you might see is persistent corruption. One difference between the film and real life, the ugly side is plain out hideous. No glitter and glam covering up those evil minions. Nowadays, it isn't so easy to tell! What is evil? Where is the "good side?" On whose side can we cling when all hope seems to be lost? Who would you go to if you knew you were the last one holding onto a vision of restoration for a lost cause, that glimmer of light at the end of a very dark tunnel? All questions from The Hobbit, but of course, they really come from the conception of an idea from J.R.R. Tolkien. It was genius, really. A world outside of our own that allows people to hope because we don't realize that is what we are doing while watching a film. Hoping for the good guys to win, hoping for a rescue mission from every trap the heros fall in.
Hope is so far gone from today that some choose to mock those who insist on believing. Am I wrong? How do children treat that one child in their class who still naively brightens at the thought of Santa visiting on Christmas Eve? That child is mocked and scorned and perhaps worse yet, is told he or she is wrong. It sounds cruel right, but how much crueler are those who have lost their faith in a Heavenly Father, the giver of all good things, to those who firmly choose to believe? They mock, they curse, they raise themselves up superiorly and "explain" how Jesus couldn't possibly exist. But, Jesus isn't a man who rides on a sleigh, nor is his existence tangible. It is, however, the same as love. You feel it, you experience it's existence and therefore know it is real. Now, I'm willing to bet if you have given up on Christ than you might not be so keen on the idea of love, so let's say believing in Christ is the same as what you feel when you are having fun. You know you feel it, it takes you over, you begin smiling, laughing, perhaps becoming so out of your mind that you forget yourself all together and look at the communal laughter spreading around the room. That's fun, or joy. Something Jesus promises to you when you choose to believe in him.
So, the difference between Santa and Jesus? One's gift is wrapped and put under a tree while the other's presence will never go out of style, and once you have it, you can give it away and still have plenty enough to keep. Jesus is good, is what I'm trying to say. During a time in my life when I could feel down and out, grumpy and stressed, or addicted to booze and out on the streets, I'm turning to the one I call my saviour and I'm standing up and believing in Faith. I'm holding on to Hope. I'm asking others to love one another and to spread good cheer. I want as many as can to hear about Jesus because I'm starting to reason that His love is the best gift I have EVER received. Maybe I'm lucky to have the mother I have, the husband I do, the family who cares so much about one another, but I don't think so. I don't believe in coincidences that strong, otherwise I'd have won more raffles and hit the jackpot at least once all those years ago.
I heard it said once that what you have when you have Christ is not richness in gold, but wealth in relationships and ever since last year, this time exactly, I have had just that. I love God and all the amazing things that have happened in my life since I gave Him my heart. I'm so thankful and grateful and, I'm learning, gratitude can take you a very long way.
I pray I can keep this joy. I pray that we can put an end to negativity. I pray that you hear these words and allow your hope to be (re)kindled, that you will allow yourself to believe that the maker of the heavens and the earth has thoughtfully formed you, that He loves you inside and out and wants you to get to a place where you can curl up in a ball, blanket draped snugly over your body and rest. That you can rest softly in His presence and think of all that you've done and have peace and then, to go one step further, that maybe the next time you are laying down and realizing how much love you have, you will be encouraged to give some of it back to the people surrounding you. I pray blessings around you and your family and that you get all that you are willing to give. God willing. Good night and good year! May we all have the courage to do what we dream of and the blessings and grace to achieve that and that the warmth to continue giving. Amen and Merry Christmas,
love always and sincerely,
Jennifer Cotham.
Sweet Dreams!!! :)
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