Create in me a clean heart, O God
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
SUBMISSION
What a painful topic this used to be for me. Uncomfortable, after the initial anger. I didn't understand it and I certainly didn't like the way it was being talked about. You can imagine how unexpected it was when I finally saw what God was doing in my life in order to bring the topic full circle for me!
It was the last week in my yearly devotional and so depressing was the book of Ezekiel that I almost gave up on the plan! I had two days more and even still it took me a whole week to complete those small, daily devotionals. I found the destruction and wrath all too much while reading Ezekiel, even though I was easily comforted by the chapter from Luke that happened to follow this section of the reading plan. (It is the Robert Roberts plan that pulls a section from both the Old and New Testament). It wasn't until tonight that I realized how wrong my judgement had been at what God was really trying to teach me.
Isn't that what always happens when we try to skim and then think we have it all figured out? Or when you butt in at the tail-end of a conversation only to realize you have completely misunderstood or gotten the "wrong gist" after you had already interjected? Well, at least it's embarrassing and at most it is just plain rude. I had done that to God, unfortunately. I just told my husband this morning that I thought what God was showing me is that we, indeed, need to hold the New Testament at a special place in our hearts and lives. See, if we choose to value one section of the Bible over another, we are missing out on the complete message and lesson from the Lord and Savior. I needed God to elaborate on this fact, obviously.
I thought, in my little world, that God wanted to show me how important it is to include the New Testament because without it, where would the message of love and grace be? While, in fact, this might be true, I only now am beginning to realize what a vast and rich mine that topic truly is! I prayed tonight and asked God to show me something, anything more. I was longing for an encounter with Him. I felt dry and lonely. Those are the only words to describe the desire, the ache that we can feel when we need something from God. I began reading where the marker had been placed in my Bible, in Joshua, and while it was interesting, I didn't feel drawn there. So, as I flipped the pages, I began to consider Ezekiel again. In short, the Holy Spirit was guiding me there. In long, I began considering that perhaps I had missed something the first choppy time through the book of Ezekiel.
There have been other times though when I had read something in the Bible that I did NOT like. Then, in indignation and rebellion, I put the Bible aside and silently fumed, or promised to not return to those pages. Of course, in the heat of the moment with my recent situation, it never occurred to me that old patterns die hard. Here I was, three years later and a slightly more seasoned Christian, experiencing the same rub of offense that had threatened my submission to Christ as it had all that time ago. So, what finally happened to make me reconsider?
I wanted to see what it was all about. I have a slightly deeper relationship with Christ now and I honestly felt led to begin at page one, read through the book, and then see where that got me. I began with the introduction. And this is what it says,
"Ezekiel was a man who chose to obey God." He did as much as lie on the side of his body for more than a year because God requested it of him. Can you imagine? Can I? Well, no, honestly. I can't. I choose to do what I want and to go where I want more often than not and I am not proud about this. I have felt God calling me to ask questions, to say things, to reach out to a friend and on more than one occasion, I have denied and opted out for the comfort of my own safety bubble. It is sad, really, when I think of all that God was calling Ezekiel to do. I realize I do this a lot, too. I took what Ezekiel had to say to the Israelites so personally, that I entirely missed the admirable trait of the man that God had decided to work through. It would have been so unpleasant to go to a land of familiar people and to have to tell them all that God's wrath was coming too, only to realize that the people were beginning to hate him and might even rebel once they heard what Ezekiel had to say. But, God had told him not to fear. He told Ezekiel that as the people rebelled against God, so God would harden Ezekiel to the point of disregarding their disobedience, allowing Ezekiel to excel in his submission to the Lord. It is truly a beautiful thing to read how completely Ezekiel gets blessed by his commitment, too! In one of the first recorded visions in Ezekiel, in Chapter One, Verse 28 this is how Ezekiel describes his encounter with the glory of the Lord. "Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him."
I don't know about you, but the beauty of a rainbow has quite literally stopped me in my tracks before. There is no doubting the effect they have on me. To imagine God's glory like this is exciting. I can only wish that I might also have a similar encounter and now I pray for the obedience and submission that Ezekiel was able to show to God on that day and on every day after. Even when his tasks seemed ridiculous or impossible. That is something I can really look up to and hopefully I'll enjoy doing it. :)
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