I'm not sure why sometimes God seems closer to my heart and my thoughts and is all around combined with me, but I love it and I'm grateful. Take for example the second day when I have been completely aware of God's presence. I'm taking note because it helps me not be so forgetful!
Yesterday, I went wedding dress shopping. I never expected that to me, but there I was in a gown looking more glamorous then ever. Thanks mostly to the dress, although I did mentally note that I want to be kinder than myself. In one of those dresses, I realized I have absolutely no reason to be hard on myself. A gorgeous dress like that can probably make anyone appear stunning, but the Lord knows how amazing it was. It was beautiful. My family there in the waiting area. My mother's beaming my face, my sister gorgeous expression, my cousin's, my nieces and my twelve year old sister Emily's. It was the most precious moment of the day, I kid you not. I was amazed by their beauty and generosity to spend the three hours consulting when I'm pretty sure it is supposed to take only an hour or so (or less!). But, my family is a gift from God and I could never have gotten through the initial stages of my wedding (or my life!) without them. I'm feeling exorbitantly blessed and highly favored and so I know it is and will be my duty and honor and great gift to do the same for someone else when those times come :)
In the morning directly after, I found out my oldest sister is pregnant. For me, it feels like the first time of becoming an aunt again. I'm so joyous. She already has three children and I love them, but I'm so blessed to be getting another. Especially since she is such an awesome Mom. I count it as a joy to be able to spend time and be included with her and her family. I ask the Lord and pray to keep her and my sister-in-law safe during their dual pregnancies! Why, that's right, they are simultaneously pregnant and both going to be gleaming beauties with their bundles of joy. I can't wait to meet Ambar's new addition either. Her first is so unique and different and although I see less of him, he lights up my life and I know its going to be a HUGE gigantic blessing that God has already blessed them with. God is so good and I can't see how I ever looked at life without Him!
Back to the wedding dress for a brief moment. The pricing was a gift from God. I wanted to spend no more than 250.00 dollars and I did. The dress I fell in love with, the one that was made for me or I for it... :) That one was only 199.99 and after adding the garment bag it came out to 226. I was meant to have that dress and I know it. God is rich in mercy and so gracious. My wedding is coming together absolutely as planned. That is, I've done hardly any planning but somehow every little detail is going better than I ever would have imagined. I'm so thankful and excited and happy and at peace tonight. I pray Lord that I will express the appropriate amount of gratitude to everyone who is helping me because I am so grateful to You Lord and to all of them!
So, this morning my sister and mom and I attended a wedding expo. That was the most fun I've had yet. We had some champagne and we were able to do some cake testing and talking and planning and it was really great! It felt like a very mature wedding thing to do, but the truth is, the amount of fun we had was based off of spending the time together and for that, I feel even more blessed than by anything we were able to accomplish or not!
And so now my weekend is winding down and I'm ready to watch the sermon and the pastor is laying out for me the ways I specifically need to change my life in order to not feel so stressed or tired. It won't be easy, but its exactly what I needed to hear. How did he know to tell me all of that? Oh, that's right, he didn't, but he listens to the Holy Spirit and I believe that Holy Spirit had something He needed to tell me :)
Jeremiah 5
25 Your iniquities have turned away these things, and your sins have withholden good things from you.26 For among my people are found wicked men: they lay wait, as he that setteth snares; they set a trap, they catch men.s27 As a cage is full of birds, so are their houses full of deceit: therefore they are become great, and waxen rich.s28 They are waxen fat, they shine: yea, they overpass the deeds of the wicked: they judge not the cause, the cause of the fatherless, yet they prosper; and the right of the needy do they not judge.29 Shall I not visit for these things? saith the Lord: shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?
30 A wonderful and horrible thing is committed in the land;s31 The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and my people love to have it so: and what will ye do in the end thereof?s
Matthew 16
24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.28 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.
***an absence of stress.
we live in a beautiful world God and I'm grateful for every moment. Lord, please help me l.ive in that and walk in it. to turn from whatever sin or iniquity causes me to struggle and fail. Thank you God in Heaven for your loving kindness. I will be forever grateful to you Lord. Please visit me whenever need be and allow me, please, to enter into your courts frequently, boldly and gracefully. I worship you Lord and savior and my king. Thank you for all that you've done and for all that you are. Amen. 9/30/12
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