A Combination, really.

How does it sound when you're heart is the only thing to speak?

Not your mind or your desires?

I hear the sound each day and it sounds like rambling.

Not the kind that relaxes you, 

Not the running of a stream, just a little bit off beat.

So today I listened to myself. 

To what my heart had to say 

and then I listened to the phrasing,

why did my mouth put it out that way?

I didn't mean to hurt you and I never wanted to mislead.

While you think that I misled you and you think that I'm confusing,

I sit back in agreement because who knows what really happening?

I said some things I thought I meant

but looking back I see,

I represented a part of me that I wanted you to see,

but in that portrayal I left off another piece.

So you see I wasn't lying,

I just wasn't giving you all of me. 

My thoughts now are to change that, but I'll keep that to myself.

The truth, well people claim is, 

there is no real changing anyway.

So I'm stuck being me and deceiving those I meet.

It looks a lonely road ahead of me, 

until my heart and mouth and mind can finally agree. 

What would I change?

No more false words that appease you,

no more rambling for fun. 

No more thoughtless remarks that hurt you

all those niceties are done.

I spend my time trying to be sweet and calm and smart and funny.

The truth is, I feel those things, they somewhere reside in me.

However when I push them out, they lack genuinity.

They show the face of a card that perhaps one expects to see. 

As in a deck of cards, I'll show what a player likes, usually. 

But if I never show my weaker pair, a 2 or 3 of spades,

how will the winner ever win if he already holds the aces?