Did you ever feel like...

life was moving so fast you just couldn't catch up?
Or how about,
you finally caught up with life and wanted to stay in that moment,
but then,
life started moving again.
Do you hold onto that moment
or push past with it tucked into your coat's lapel
like the beautiful rose that it was
with a scent to clear your nostrils
and the peace to ease your pain?

I felt that way today. Maybe it is this pregnancy. Maybe it is being pregnant and realizing I'm not exactly where I want to be. I'm literally at home on my computer, so not much has changed. Except that I'm pregnant and married and this baby is moving and I'm finding that life is not quite so different at all. I am still who I am with much to offer these two men. It is a matter of tapping into that fact, I suppose.

Of not being ashamed that I've put on so much weight! I thought it was impossible, to be honest. Or perhaps I had once feared it, but here it is anddddddd, wait for it, the only thing different is, I'm not trying to cover it up. In fact, people are drawn to it. "They" even have an endearing name for this new package I have, the baby bump. Perhaps you have heard of it? Interesting. Not quite as cute when you are the one sporting said baby bump, but here I am nonetheless, finding myself skating by on the compliments of, "Oh how cute! You are already showing!" Why, yes, I am. How kind of you to notice.
So, what do I hold onto then if not the illusion of vanity? Especially since the changing body shape is suppose to be a blessing, although can be quite encumbersome. Someone else please look up how to spell that word because I don't want to lose this train of thought.
These are just the rantings of a pregnant lady because I have no idea what I am doing and all of my close friends live nowhere around and I'd rather die than admit that it sucks. It sucks being alone and pregnant, trapped in your own dormitory of thought.
Luckily, I don't have to stay there. There is this high order of release I feel when I realize God has seen me all along. I would have gone crazy, but for sure Grace. Words don't do Him justice though, so I think I'll leave it at that for now. God is good and that's about all I know for sure at this point. Here's hoping that this is just a catalyst for good thoughts to flow and an excellent life to begin (the one inside me of course). I'll just continue living mine, looking for that ever popular silver lining or, the Biblical and true, rainbow after the storm. God gets me every time. Good night all. I hope you had a blessed day.
<3 Jenn