Bible Questions...

Hebrews 3:12, 18-19 "See to it brothers that none of you have a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God."
"And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who had unbelief? 19)So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief."

So any of us who believe, then we do not become disqualified for disobeying?
If I know without a doubt that the living God is present and that "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight" and "everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account,"does it not erase my fear of being inappropriate or wrong since I know He will eventually see it (Hebrews 4:13)? I will never act with disbelief because I know that He exists. The fact that I need to constantly remind myself of all the good He has done in my life in the last eight months alone is a whole different issue (I am apparently full of these).
Now how does this change the way I should behave throughout my days? Knowing every action is viewed and judged by my maker. I am almost scared to view my day through that lens, even though I know it is not for me to judge, but for Him. That is a relief!
If I dare to, since I do, what do I see? I see me behaving like a scared puppy. Afraid to straighten up for fear of being knocked back down. And who is knocking me down? Myself. Myself and my fear of the world. Is that the same as disbelief? Disbelief in the Word perhaps, that I am more than a conqueror since I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I see my belief in that same Christ, the Father and the Holy Spirit as my strength and the vanquisher of any other harmful disbelief.
The me who wonders, the me who questions and the me who worries is quite ugly. Like the witch from Terry Pratchett's Witches Abroad I'm wondering if I'm the sister trapped in the mirror or the one who is free to roam around and cause mischief? I wake up some mornings knowing full well that my thoughts are not aligning with the love and joy of the Most High, yet I am too weak to change it. I don't hit my knees when maybe I ought. I don't seek the comfort and the strength of those who follow Christ. It clearly calls all of us to "encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of [us] may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness" (Hebrews 3:13). I love my God more than anything. My desire is to share His light and His word. Why is it at times I am afraid to speak my mind or to share my heart? Am I afraid I do not align with the word of God or have not, perhaps, positioned myself just so He can use me? There's no positioning I can do, be it hiding under a rock or sitting in the very front pew, that will get my God to take notice or hide myself from His view. He sees us, me and you, and He's using us to do all that we can do. That is such a relief to me, I can hardly wait to really start living for Him! God Almighty :)

I may be weak, I may be wrong, but my position is not one of disbelief and never will be. I pray there has been enough of that. That God's word may overtake me and use me to glorify Him and to encourage my neighbors. Amen.